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Chris’s (Wizard Of Randomalitys) Corner
Issue 2
Evening! My name is Chris! U my know
me as the wizard front man of local ska/punk act ROBO-LINT or from the former
band Fluff Castle (R.I.P). In some of this here fanzine u are reading I will
talking to u about the issues of the day and also using this space to it full
potential by blatantly plugging the band I am in!! ROBOLINT!!! Yes the band
ROBOLINT!!! Yes them!! ROBO.......................LINT!!!!!! So lets get on with
the proceeding by announcing today’s topic...
Today’s
Topic: Balloons
Balloons
are pointless really aren’t they! Its just rubber with air inside it. If u
give it to a child they like it! BUT when it pops all hell breaks loose. At
parties they look good! UNTIL! everyone pops them then they look really not
good! Balloons have good points though! U can make them do that really squeaky
sound. That’s always a goodun!
Big
balloons are cool (e.g. the hot air variety) cus u can move in the air. Not very
good if there’s no wind though then u don’t move and that’s WRONG!!
Balloons are good if they are small. Small balloons! Yes a great idea! For the
bombs!! Water BOMBS!!!!!!!! Small Balloons!! Genius!!!! Another bad point about
the balloon! HIGH RISK!!!!!
If
u have a helium balloon may fly away and u will see if never again!!!! And I
mean NEVER!!!!!! Quite sad when that happens really. Brings a tear to my eye
(The left one). U can play games with them. But they’re not very good. I
prefer dominoes or the more challenging hangman! A must for all!!
After writing this small segment I
have a mixed opinions on balloons. Started off not really seeing the point but
now also see they have there uses. What do u think?? Let me know at robolint@hotmail.com
Well
that concludes this edition. Next time I may be talking about Pebbles or Iraq or
could even be YOU!!!! (Not likely though). So this is me saying ROBO-LINT
(PLUG!!!) Spread The Randomness!!!
Chris
(Wizard Of Randomality)
Issue 3
Hello
zine readers. I’m back again for another dose of random banter. Since I last
wrote I’ve met Christian Slater, Neve Campbell and the mighty DAVID
DICKINSON!! I even performed Vast Array of Pasties at his after show party! You
laugh but its real! Today’s subject will be
My Eviction From The Dump
-------------------------
Today my uncle and me went to visit our local waste disposal area, otherwise
known as the dump. After a good 10min brisk walk to the area we arrived to see
the dump looking mighty appealing. We were on a mission to find lots of cool
stuff including TVs, Video Players and maybe item of a computer nature (E.g.
RAM). Upon entering the establishment we were met by a rather angry man. He was
an idiot! He told us we could not be in the dump unless we were wearing a yellow
jacket and was damn right rude! My uncle retaliated by telling the man he was a
rude, rude man and the man swiftly evicted us from the area! As you can tell we
were not too pleased with our eviction. We are currently thinking of ways we can
get it and infiltrate the twatish mans dump! Current ideas include dressing as a
monk and claiming to be a member of the dump monks. We will then enter and while
PRENTENDING to pray and worship random bags of shit and broken ovens try and
salvage the good we so rightly deserve. As the reading public I plead for you
all to go to the Paignton dump and try and enter and annoy the bastard of a man
who denied me and my uncle access! You could also try turning up in various
yellow jackets to see if you could gain access and infiltrate!
He must be punished for his crimes!! You laugh but its real!!!
Well yeah, so now I’ve got that off my chest just going to do a few bits of
promo for people! New band and good friends of mine Oi Oi Oi <Ya Bastard>
will be playing at the Town House on May 16th! These are ones to look out for
they are angry men who have summin2say. They also like fun and sing songs about
Igloos and Falling Buses! HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY BE BAD!!! Check ‘em out! Also
if you like your hardcore check out www.shapedbyfate.com Saw these guys and in
Cardiff and boy do they give it beans. Going to try and get these guys down here
soon so if you like your EXTREME hardcore check em out!!
Well umm that’s it! I’m going to go write a letter of complaint to the dump
and demand a money off voucher!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!
SpReaD tHe RaNdoMneSs
Chris (Wizard Randomality)
www.robolint.com
Issue 4
Yo
Punkemon Readers! How’s the tournament?
Today
I have chosen a topic close to everyone’s hearts to talk about. A topic that
when you find out what it is you’ll be like "Hey that a topic that close
to everyone’s heart.” WIKID!!!!!! After hours and hours of thinking it came
to me. THE ULTIMATE IN HOBBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today’s Topic is: - The Art of
Table Spotting!!!!
Table spotting has been around for
years now and some hardcore enthusiasts even go the length of collecting these
tables and store them in big rooms where nothing is allowed on them in case they
scratch. One of the most sought-out tables is the early 17th century Cape Cod
Tavern Table. This beauty is 40" in length and is made of only the most
quality of cedar wood. One of these in auction cud reach up to £45,000. NO Word
of a Lie! Now for those of you just starting out here are sum tips to get you
started....
* Standard distressed cedar tabletops
are 1 1/4 inches thick. Any other measurement is a rarity so keep a look out for
them. the 2 1 1/2 inches thick is worth a mint!
*
Look for optional leaves that extends table length by 40”.
*
2” thick Hardwood Table Tops are available up to 6 feet. Also available
with optional leaves that extends table length by 40”. These are quite
collectable and may get you a good profit.
*
A leaved round table can fetch a good profit. Keep an eye out.
*
Tables DO NOT leave water spots. If they do u may lose out so have a good check
first.
*
Clean tables with just a damp cloth. Don’t scrub them with brillos or
anything. May Scratch.
*
Look for varying Leg Styles.
There are some tips to get you
started. In my years of table spotting I have spotted around 30,000 different
models and makes including see through perspex all the way to your large oak
dinner table. As u can see this is a great hobby that all the family can take
part in and hours of fuN! HAPPY SPOTTING!!
Chris’s Extra Bits
-----------------------
Just want to say congrats to Oi Oi Oi
[Ya Bastard] for a wikid debut gig. You kick ass! They’ll be back again June
13th at the townhouse Torquay. Also want to say NO COMPLY KICK ASSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"The most amazing female fronted band in the UK" <-- feel free to
use this quote :) Their cavern gig was damn amazing!
Contact
me at robolint@hotmail.com
Issue 5
Yo
Peeps! How ya`ll doing? This issue I’ll be teaching you a game. THE GAME TO
BEAT ALL KNOWN GAMES!! The game is called "Step of Justice" and is a
game that can have u occupied for hours and hours and hours! Lets take a look on
how to play this almighty battling game...
STEP
OF JUSTICE
---------------
1.
Round up a group of friends. Around 5-20 will do. The more people the better and
more challenging the game
2.
All stand around in a wide-open space randomly leaving approx 1 metre gap from
other players
3.
Pick a person to start randomly (Or by the Ip Dip Dog Shit method)
4.
The player spins around until another player (Of their choosing) shouts stop.
The player then takes on step forward in the direction they stop
5.
The next player then repeats, then the next, then the next and so on
6.
In the event of a collision this is classed as a CHALLENGE!
The
2 colliding players must point at their challenging opponent. Arm stretched
right out and finger pointing. The winner of the challenge is the one who keeps
him arm up for the longest. The one who fails is out!! Note: You are not allowed
to support the challenging arm in any way.
7.
In the event of further collisions to already "Challenging" players.
The already "Challenging" player must then use his other arm to point
at the new opponent as well as the current. Upto 3 challenges may be on 1 person
at any time this resulting in the player pointing with both arms and 1 leg. No
more than 3 challenges can be made to any one person at a time. In the event of
a 2-3 way challenge if u give up just one of them u are out!!
8.
The winner is the person who is left at the end and he must then step forward
(The Step of Justice) and shout "YEH I WIN!!"
Well
hope u understand that game and find it as enjoyable as I do! I think its great.
Another quick game to play is called "Eye of the Moon". It’s easy to
play. All players stare at the moon and first to see an eye wins. Easy as that!
Have
Fun!! Email me robolint@hotmail.com
Chris
"Wizard Randomality"